The bystander effect, or bystander apathy, is a social psychological theory. It states that individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim in the presence of other people. That they'll just stand there.
This theory, first proposed in 1964, was prompted by the murder of a woman called Kitty Genovese. Some reports suggested that there 38 bystanders, all who did nothing and watched passively. (Although the exact number is not certain.)
Researchers boiled much of this phenomenon down to a diffusion of responsibility that reinforces mutual denial. If a single individual is asked to complete the task alone, the sense of responsibility will be strong, and there'll be a positive response. However, if a group is required to complete the task together, each individual in the group will have a weakened sense of responsibility. They will not step up, or have an expectation that "someone else" will do something. They will often shrink back in the face of difficulties or responsibilities.
The psychology of the bystander effect is currently playing out on a specific arena: namely, the Palestinian genocide. I am personally witnessing it.
Of all the people I know - friends, acquaintances, colleagues - a majority of them do not fall into the loudly-pro-Zionist camp, nor do they fall into the loudly-pro-Palestinian camp. They are just sort of... there.
They sit in the audience, settled down in their seats. They carry on with their daily lives, posting pictures of the restaurants they frequent, of their dog's funny bark, of their latest purchases. They just continue, like all is normal. The same online interactions, the same daily inertia. All is well in the land of majority.
But, of course, all is not well.
And this vast majority watch myself and others posting, advocating, raising awareness, shouting about the Palestinian holocaust. You'd think that they'd unfriend, uncouple, and block me online, but they don't. They watch all my stories, read my posts, scroll through the pictures of children shot, burned, run over by bulldozers, starved, tortured, and orphaned by the Israelis. But their own feed? It remains damningly void of a single post, a single repost, a single word about Palestine.
Again, on a rare occasion, this bystander majority will like a few of my posts, but they remain silent.
I know for a fact that some of these silent watchers are pro-Palestine. I know because we've had conversations about it. So, the question begs to be asked, why aren't they saying anything? Why do they remain quiet?
Well, in many cases, it comes back to this bystander effect. The "diffusion of responsibility" which happens in a crowd. This mutual denial. This weakened sense of duty to act oneself. It's the idea of "someone else will do it".
I would add that there's a second phenomena in the mix. I believe that a second layer to this majority's silence has to do with something I term as conscience buffering. Allow me to explain.
Sometimes a group makes one or a few individuals their conscience "cushioner". The group sees an injustice, a guilty conscience wells up in them, but then they observe one person who is fighting that injustice. And, in a strange way, the group then adopts the actions of that one as their own, thus leading to a feeling of emotional relief and an artificially relieved conscience. It may sound odd, but I've seen it repeatedly.
"I feel so awful about what's happening to black people in the States. Oh, but at least I saw some friends out marching in the Black Lives Matter rally this weekend. That's good. I'm glad someone's doing something."
"There's mistreatment in my place of work. The office has a truly toxic and misogynist work-environment. Oh good... my female colleague spoke up about it in a meeting. That means I don't have to. She'll deal with it for the rest of us."
The bystander effect is an insidious evil. It allows for the majority to remain passive, apathetic, and silent, while they hope to benefit from the actions of the few. Even if that benefit is merely keeping in tact the frail mask that they're "good" people, and that their guilty conscience is eased because "something is being done."
"Oh good! This person seems strong! They're going off to fight the battle for me! Thank goodness."
When I, in January, asked a Norwegian pastor why he had remained silent about the Palestinian genocide, he replied that he didn't think him speaking up about it would make any difference. He then went on to state that he doesn't understand how anyone who is watching what Israel is doing could ever support the Israelis. He concluded his message by saying my arguments for speaking up were excellent, and should be shared with others too.
But he himself still remained silent.
It's been nearly 4 months since that interaction. He still hasn't posted a single thing about Palestine. Not a single post. He still remains swaddled in his own cocoon of white privilege and avoiding those "icky" conflicts that might occur if he did speak up. He still believes in the lie of his own helplessness, and the futility of speaking up amidst polarised opinions.
But... and here is the big "but".... this pastor believed that the Israelis are wrong! He believed the someone should speak up! In fact, he encouraged me to do so. His silence wasn't a matter of not believing in the need for action, or in not seeing the war crimes Israel is committing. In fact, his tone when telling me to urge others to speak up, was encouraging, warm even. And yet he remains a silent bystander. It was as though my words flew over his head. "This call to action is for others, not for me. It's for others. Not me."
There's nothing new about the bystander effect. And there's nothing new about cowardice either. Most people are all too happy to send off their knights in armour, having them battle the dragons that threaten the town. They're all too at ease with having others fight battles for them, and let others take the hits. Again and again.
Let me be perfectly frank. Many of us who are shouting about Palestine are battered and bruised from this fight. Many of us are exhausted and constantly wounded in a myriad of ways. It has cost many of us something. It has cost some people a lot. It has cost some friends, family members, their job, promotions, peace at home, work opportunities, business, money, customers, a sense of safety, and that delicious and sweet self-inflicted ignorance of turning your gaze from the horrors.
There are people who are being arrested, who now have a criminal record because they waved a Palestinian flag, and chanted "From the river to the sea!" in Germany. People in the US are having the FBI come to their house and interrogate them for having a Palestinian flag in their FB profile picture. The UK police are stopping, arresting, and interrogating Palestine-supporters in their homes and on the street. There are people whose personal safety is compromised when they wear their keffiyehs in public. There are people who have given up their weekends to attend marches. Children are being bullied in school. Many have lost lifelong friends. Many have sacrificed popularity, their reputation, online followers, steady income, their place in their church, and their communities because they're standing up for Palestine.
It costs something to resist injustice. It just does. It always has. Jesus knows it does. He bears the scars to prove it.
Do not depend on the pro-Palestine posts of your friends. Their action does not replace your own. Do not depend on others being your conscience-reliever, your voice, your moral enactor. We are not your sin-eaters. We are not your absolvers.
Each one of us have a portion of personal responsibility which we cannot get away from. Nobody can vote for you. Nobody can live your life for you. It's on you. And you will have to answer for it.
Don't be the bystander, watching as the Black Lives Matter crowd marches by. Pick up a placard. March with them.
Don't be the bystander when you witness abuse or mistreatment. Put yourself between the victim and the perpetrator. Even if you know the perpetrator well.
Don't be the bystander in a propaganda and misinformation-war, where the genocide of an entire people, and the ethnic cleansing of Palestine, is being justified to Westerners.
Repost a friend's article. Share. Get loud. Speak up. I know, your voice might tremble. Speak up anyway.
It is such a betrayal to let the few brave and just people you know do the fighting for you. Can you see how you're betraying them? It is abandoning them. Not only that, but it's abandoning everything good inside yourself too. Letting their actions make you feel better, while refusing to yourself act, is a betrayal. It is cowardly. It is privileged. It is selfish. And the second-hand conscience-relief that you reap from other's just action is a false relief. You aren't covered by it. You aren't absolved by it. Your guilt remains. We are going to have to make the uncomfortable decision of who we are going to be in this story. What our actions are going to be. In the end, nobody can decide for you who you're going to be. You have decide.
Your friends are getting killed out there. The dragon is bloodthirsty and we're exhausted. Get in the fight. Or else, it's time to start being honest about who you are, and the blood that's on your hands. Because nobody's else's actions are going to wash them clean.
Don't just stand there; there's a child being murdered.
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