You Have No Idea

White person

you have no idea what it's like

to practice talking about the holocaust of our people

like we're preparing for a court trial

or an interview

To pick the words carefully

To reach for the metaphors that might appeal to you

"What if that was your family?"

"Imagine if this happened in London, Oslo, Washington?"

Our grief is only valid

when we hold it up against white reality

You should be on trial

Your silence

Your mincing of words

Your apathy

You should be the one having to explain yourself

To justify yourself

But instead I'm the one having to cater to you

I'm the one having to pre-empt your foolish "what abouts" and devil's advocacy

You are the devil.

I condemn you.

May your silence haunt you

May the sin of your silence stand as a witness against you

as it drips with blood

White person,

you have no idea what it's like to be asked to carry on as usual

while people who look like you are exterminated

and instead of being flooded with support, comfort, and solidarity,

you sit across

from people you've known your whole life

and are cross-examined

put on trial

questioned

doubted

rebutted

ignored

minimised.

"Why is this affecting you so much?"

"It's not like you knew them personally."

"Yes, the Middle East is a tragedy, isn't it."

"So, what else is going on with you?"

"Yes, it's all very sad, but what can be done?"

And I'm sitting with my notecards

full of metaphors and comparisons and arguments

trying to build my case

trying to form an argument I should never have to make

trying try to convince you

that the people who look like me are humans

and you are an evil that imagines itself nice and fine and holy.

A poem written by Natalie Kendel